BamaBoy Blogs Bachelor: “Ladies” Night

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I’m really feeling like I need to buy a lotto ticket lately.  Thursday was a DOOZY, the weekend was pretty good, except for feeling somewhat crappy yesterday.  On the bright side, I got to take a 2-hour nap in the middle of the day – SCORE!!  Then, this morning, I was excited to leave early and get a few things before school for our Dr. Seuss Day, but ALAS, the truck wouldn’t start!  ARGH!!  Finally, after charging the truck battery (and thankfully a cup of coffee) we got to school on time.  But of course, the truck was dead again after school (I was leaving earlyish to cook and everything!) SOOOOOOO, FINALLY, at 5:45, our friend came to jump the truck.  I got home at 6:30. Awesome… I want to run that damn truck off a cliff.

One a brighter note, we might get another ice day/late start day, so I might get to sleep in tomorrow!  There is a little ray of hope.  And, it’s BACHELOR NIGHT!!

Tonight is the biggest, brightest, most candle-filled Monday Night “Lady” Fight of them all!  Get ready and get some wine (I’ve got my movin’ buddy!!”) tonight’s going to be good and really, real!

Looks like it’s another episode of “Everybody Hates One Pollo”.
But first, a little visit with Sean and Catherine to talk about their Wedding Night “quick fireworks!”  OUCH!
Apparently, Sean’s “man parts” got a lot more action from a stingray.  Awesome.
Mommer: “Ripe old age of 30?!  You can go f&$k yourself!”  He’s feeling a little bitter about being old.

We’re already trying to fill time and Chris chats with Miss Piggie and Kermit.
BamaBoy: “Look Vienna’s back!” Wow!…well, kinda.
Leave it to The Bachelor not to miss out an opportunity to capitalize on The Muppets.

Ding, Ding, Ding!  Introducing, the REJECTED “ladies!!!
Renee and Elise admit they were most attracted to One Pollo’s looks.
Cut to montage of the “ladies” talking about how hot he is, his dancing and soccer skills, and kissing. Blah, blah, blah, he’s amazeballs.

ALRIGHT, gettin’ to the nitty-gritty.  Everyone except for Renee feels like their relationship and time with One Pollo never got into actual conversation.  Kelly totally calls Lauren (from Austin) out on her “sour grapes” as Chris Harrison refers to them.  Even Andi stands up for One Pollo saying she still believes he came on the show for the right reasons.

Elise puts her pretty shoe in her mouth when she says One Pollo uses Camila as an “excuse”.  Good for Chris Harrison for calling her out on that!!  Wow!
Some things that came out:
– One Pollo contradicted many of his own “rules”.
– Dog Lover, Free Spirit, and Former NBA Dancer all = unemployed.
– One Pollo had “buyers remorse” with Clare. Hahaha!
– He handled the whole ocean-swimming deal like an a$$ by putting it all on Clare.

Sharleen gets the hot spot:
– Chris Harrison calls her “hot and cold”, too!  HA!!! I just said that!
– Kissing One Pollo gave her tunnel-vision.
– Watching Sharleen watch herself with One Pollo is pretty entertaining.
– Even though she’s “sure” he’s not “The One”, she still can’t sleep at night.
– He actually asked her about herself and had great conversation.
– The “ladies” all agree Sharleen was a front runner and one of his favorites.
– She doesn’t regret leaving.
– Good for her.

By the way, we’re on a 2-hour delay so far but the sleet is coming down pretty hard so it looks like we might actually get a day off!  Fingers crossed everyone!!

Renee’s up next on the hot seat:
– Renee found One Pollo romantic.
– She says, “Oh my god” a LOT and very quickly!
– BamaBoy: “She has a LOT of blush on…or she’s eating a WarHead…or she’s trying to be a fish.”
– She’s seems to be the most “normal” of all the “ladies”.
– She’s dating and happy!  YAY!
– She’s still our favorite!

Andi, post-Fantasy Suite of DOOM!!
– Dunn, dunn, dunnnnnnnnn…
– Negativity
– She’s brings up the “default” issue again.
– This is basically the same conversation she had with One Pollo.
– Chris Harrison calls her on the “pretending to be asleep” tactic.
– He was rude and an a$$, but not mean…J: “So he’s a moron.”
– Andi finally admits that he didn’t get it, not that he was trying to be an a$$hole.
– “This is how a great relationship, a great love is supposed to start.” J:”With 27 other women, right.”
– We think she’s campaigning pretty hardcore for the Bachelorette.

One Pollo is the Over-Warmed Hot Seat:
– Something about honesty.  Basically, the truth hurts sometimes.  Yes.
– “Eee’s ok.”  BAHAHAHAHA!!
– He says he has no regrets.
– Open to the “ladies” – someone give him a helmet.
– “I didn’t came to the show to kiss 27 women.” Obviously he didn’t follow in Bachelor Bob’s footsteps – the self-proclaimed BachelorSlut.
– “Eee’s ok.”

Questions from the “ladies”:
Andi: Everyone would have felt more appreciated had you gotten to know what everyone liked, who they are, called them a wife…. (That’s not a question.)
Sharleen gets called out: “Yes, he asked those questions, and we got to know each other.”
One Pollo: “It is what it is.”
Flower Power: “It’s not a GAME.”  You wore a FLOWER CROWN the first night. We can’t take you seriously.
Kelly calls him on the gay comment. One Pollo says it was taken out of context.
One Pollo: “I love gay people.” I’m not sure you’re making this better.
Sharleen to the rescue: “We talked about this. He is open-minded and accepting.”

Chris Harrison: “A lot of surprises this year.” I’ll say!
Bloopers (Time out: Why the f are they called Bloopers?!?! What does that even mean?):
– Lots of ridiculous dancing.
– One Pollo calling his package little…a couple of times.  The producer trying to help him not call his package little.
– Renee gets hit by lighting. Not lightning….LIGHTING.
– Shit falls down…a lot.
– Eeet’s ok.
– BamaBoy: “Never play ‘eet’s ok’ as a drinking game…you will die.”
– Someone kills a cat…Chris Harrison?!?!
– One Pollo wears pink shorts. (I think there’s a picture of BamaBoy in pink shorts around here somewhere…Ask my mom, she’s been scarred for life seen it.

Elise talks a lot.
The “ladies” vote for Team Clare or Team Nikki.
J: “Two week finale?!”
BamaBoy gives her the rundown of the two-week finale.  *Tear* Momma’s so proud!

I still call that Nikki stays but probably shouldn’t.
I think Clare sees the “light” that Andi saw.
If he picks Nikki, like I predict will happen by default…hee hee!
Here’s the rundown of final predictions from our house:
– Mommer: “I think he’s going to make a decision.” “Neither.”
– J: “He’s going to continue to be boring. I think he’ll pick Nikki.  She’ll say yes.”
– BamaBoy: “I think….he’s going the way of Brad (Womack) and he won’t pick either. He’s been dealing with enough bull shit and maybe because of language, maybe because of whatever…but none of the ‘ladies’ seem to render him ‘in love’.  I don’t think he found the one on this (oh, shit.) journey.”

Whatver happens, Eet’s ok! See you next week!
– T

Disclaimer: BamaBoy, J, Mommer and I are in no way affiliated with ABC, The Bachelor, or Chris Harrison.  We are not being compensated in any way for our witty observations….although, not so witty today. Suffice it to say we have a “Bad Case of the Mondays”.  Anywho, thanks for visiting, come back next week for “Lady” SuperBowl and more wine.  YAY!!

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